Goals 2: Ask The Genie

I apologise that this blog has been delayed but in the past I have found it hard to set and stick to meaningful goals. The study of the subject has therefore been, and still is, of great significance for me and has taken the most work of any subject so far.

Last week we examined an introduction to the art of goal setting. This week we move on to the practise itself.


To Begin

"Whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever you do, you should have goals."

Zig Ziglar


In his book, Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz said life is like riding a bicycle, you are either moving forward or you are falling off. There is no other state. Setting goals gives you the ability to move forward.

The skill in giving yourself goals to follow is initially to simply be a good asker. Jim Rohn in his book 'Seven Strategies For Wealth And Happiness', state that asking is the first step towards receiving and the very act of asking starts mysterious forces towards the achievement of your life ambitions.

The ability to ask is also covered in the Bible ("Ask and ye shall receive") and in the book and movie 'The Secret' . In this asking is related to the age-old idea of the genie and the lamp.

A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a genie appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, he would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The genie waved his hand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The genie waved his hand and boom! The man was 90.........

Sorry, I had to include that. The truth is life can give you exactly what you want just like the genie in the lamp; only there are no restrictions on the number of wishes you make. You just need to understand the natural laws that govern the asking.

Motivational speaker Bob Urichuck puts it this way in his blog :

"It was through goal setting, that I now realise that I was the author of my future. I became what I have wanted to become, which at one time was only a dream - impossible at that."

He goes on to explain that spending time investing in setting your goals is the best possible return on time invested. "Write out all your dreams and desire as if nothing is impossible, no barriers and no limitations. This will form the foundation to effective goal setting."

I will mention this later, but my good friend, Dar, and I have spoken about the difficulty of deciding what actions need to be taken each day. The truth is a well-defined set of goals will tell us what our daily priorities are to be. I hope this becomes clear as we move along.

Dar kindly pointed me towards two blogs discussing indecision. One of these, by Steve Pavlina talks about growth in life.

"When you can clearly see the next steps ahead of you, you can focus on making changes instead of second-guessing your decisions."

That would be the setting of goals, then.

Before we move on to actually setting goals, I would like to briefly highlight a few other benefits of goals.


1. Goal Setting Emphasises Your Successes

Well-set goals define what success looks like, so their achievement is clearer and this leads to increased motivation to pursue later goals.


2. Goal Setting Improves Your Self-Esteem

Imagine how you would feel when you look back over the record of goals you have achieved.


3. Goal Setting Forms Character

This comes from the selfvolution blog:

"Goal setting forms character by allowing a person to see past the problems and into the rewards. People who do not have goals often look at problems and ask themselves 'why?' People with goals see the problem and ask themselves 'why not?' People who have goals are able to see how problems can help them achieve their goal. By solving this or that problem, they realise that they will be one step closer to their goal."


4. Goal Setting Encourages Discipline

I will discuss discipline later, but to work goals need you to be strong enough to stick to them. Eventually discipline will become a habit and you will find more will get done. Believe me, this is something I need!

As Bob Urichuck puts it:

"Goal setting has to be a discipline from the beginning."



Most goal-setting teachers talk about the mnemonic 'SMART' to describe the features required of a good goal. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timetable. I will stick to this format to discuss creating goals.

SMART: Goals Should Be SPECIFIC



To be effective, goals need to be clearly defined and described. We have already worked on defining our dreams so hopefully we do not need to do much more here but we must now be very clear about what we want from life.


Jim Rohn describes it like this:

"Like a well-defined dream, well-defined goals work like magnets. They pull you in their direction. The better YOU DEFINE them, the better YOU DESCRIBE them, the harder YOU WORK on achieving them, the stronger THEY PULL."

And Zig Ziglar again:

"Whatever you want - if you expect to reach full effectiveness - must be specific in detail."

"Unless you have definite, precise, clearly set goals, you are not going to realise the maximum potential that lies within you."

Your goals need to be specified in detail. Saying, for example, 'I want to be happy' is not enough, you need to specify what being happy means to you; for example, 'I will retire from work, I will spend time with my family.'

I also think talking in terms of money is less effective than identifying what money can bring you. Some groups teach visualising a sum of money, but I think it would be better to visualise the results. 'I want to earn $100,000' is a goal but might be easier to picture if you said 'I want to earn $100,000 and buy myself a red Ferrari.'

You also need to set your goals as high as possible. High goals create excitement and cause you to stretch and grow.

The key seems to be to set the goals high enough to excite and yet not so high that they are intimidating. We will cover more about this later but the answer seems to be to set large goals with a succession of small goals leading up to them.

As with dreams, it is almost essential to think like a child. I once heard it said if children ran the world, very little would be impossible. It is only in adulthood we begin to fear what could go wrong in life.

"You see, many of us have become too skeptical. We've lost that wonderfully innocent, childlike faith and trust. Don't let this stop you. Believe in and have faith in yourself and your goals. And get excited - just like a child. Childlike enthusiasm - there's nothing more contagious." (Jim Rohn)

You need to find your 'hot button' - the goal that will set you on your way to success.

How To Identify Your Motivating Goals

Several teachers suggest ways to understand the goals that will motivate you.

Robin Sieger, suggests how you would like to look back over your life.

"When you are looking back as an elderly person sitting in the sunshine in Florida or wherever you want to be, what would you want to look back on with the greatest pride?"

He suggests two questions: Where do you want to be? When do you want to get there?

I have been lucky enough to spend time with a highly motivated entrepreneur by the name of Adil Amarsi. In his blog, Adil suggests this approach:

"'What would my perfect AVERAGE day look like?'"

"'If I had to live this way everyday, and if I didn't I would die, what would it look like?'"

"Then from there just break it down...don't say something like, 'Wake up, smoke a ton of drugs followed by a vodka binge, then have sex with a busload of women, then drive my car at top speed'...that will get you killed."

"Seriously you want to do something along the lines of where do you live, what does your house look/smell/feel like and so on?"

"What are your first thoughts of your day while you brush your teeth, what would you have for breakfast etc…?"

"So break it down to the mundane things because if you don't then it's hard for you...but if you do then it's very simple."

Adil makes a good point there. For a goal to make an impact in your subconscious, you need to define it in great detail. Robin Sieger again:

"First, you must clearly define your goal in precise visual, emotive terms."

"The second thing you must do is get emotionally connected to the feelings that achieving the goal in terms that give you a feeling of success."

In an audio presentation to Success University , Bob Urichuck says that, to be effective, we must use our senses to make the goal more real - see it, feel it, smell it, touch it, hear it. In a video, also for Success University, that charismatic speaker, Wolfgang Riebe licks a Mercedes to demonstrate you should be able to taste your dream!

The key is to keep it light and listen to your feelings. This is something mentioned by Steve Pavlina in his blog on indecision where he says that we know deep down what we want and all we need to do is understand if our decisions, or goals, feel right.

Lastly, if you are still struggling with what are the right goals for you, then Jim Rohn helps by identifying some possible motivators:

Recognition.

Many people like to be seen to be successful. Wise companies give their employees the symbols of status such as cars and titles or even recognise employees of the month. Are you driven by the need for recognition? Most people are in some form.

The Feeling of Winning

There are few feelings better than the feeling of success. I personally think this will come whatever goals you achieve.

Family

Many people will do anything for their family.

Benevolence

Andrew Carnegie spent the first half of his life becoming the richest man in the world and the second half giving it all away. Does giving motivate you?

Anger and Embarrassment

Yes, even negative emotions can be motivators. Fed up that you cannot meet the payment of bills each month? Frustrated at your car breaking down constantly? Use these feelings as motivators for goals.




Well, I hope we are getting the goals set up for you. Next week I will continue the SMART theme with the 'M' for Measurable.

As usual, I wish you my very best wishes for a great week and I leave you this time with a video of the great Zig Ziglar at his best.


Keith


http://www.keithbraithwaite.com/






(copyright Nightingale Conant)

Goals 1: Designing Your Future

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We have now examined the process of self-improvement to the stage where we are becoming more aware of our dreams and, I hope, considered how they could fit into our lives.


Introduction to Goals

Dreams are essential to success but they only really work if you commit yourself to their attainment by allocating a date by which they are to be achieved and they then become goals.

I'm sorry if I repeat some ideas previously laid out in the dreams blogs, but I am realising just how important, and how so often overlooked, is the subject of Dreams and Goals. A list of well thought out goals gives you direction, a purpose.

Not having goals has been compared to presenting yourself at the ticket desk of an airport and having the following conversation:

Airline Representative: Good afternoon, can I help you?

You: Good afternoon, I would like a flight ticket please.

AR: Certainly sir, where would you like to go?

You: I don't know.

AR: Hmmm, okay, when would you like to arrive?

You: I don't know.

AR: I'm sorry sir, but how can I help you if you don't know where you want to go or even when you want to get there?


That was a very restrained response - I think I might have been ruder. I'm sure you would agree this conversation would be unlikely: It's too silly, right?

And yet most of us have this conversation with life much of the time. We spend more time planning a holiday than our lives. I know I did.

How can you get somewhere if you don't know where you want to go?

Or, as that great teacher, Zig Ziglar, puts it: "It's just as difficult to reach a destination you don’t have, as it is to come back from a place you have never been."

In my opinion, one of the best books on goals is Jim Rohns 'Seven Strategies for Wealth and Happiness':


"Guess how many people face the future with apprehension? Right, most do."

"You've seen the type - always worrying, worrying, worrying. Why are these individuals so apprehensive? Because they haven't spent time designing their futures. In many cases, they live their lives by trying to win the approval of someone else. In the process, they end up 'buying into' someone else's view of how life should be lived. No wonder they are worried - always looking around, seeking approval for everything they do."

"On the other hand, those who face the future with anticipation have planned a future worth getting excited about. They can 'see' the future in their minds eye, and it looks terrific. The future captures their imagination and it exerts and enormous pull on them."


I also return to Robin Sieger's book 'You Can change Your Life Any Time you Want:'
"Very few people sit down and take the time to ask themselves 'what do I really want out of life.' Most of us just bumble through from day to day, struggling to get by, moaning about the job we have because it is not the job we want or because we feel unappreciated; complaining about the house we live in because it is not big enough; finding fault in out partners because they do not make us feel as good about ourselves as we think they should. We go through life asleep to the possibilities all around us."

"Until you determine exactly what it is that you wish to achieve, it is impossible for you to achieve anything of value. Goal setting is easy. But beware - no sooner will you have set the goal, then the negative beliefs will appear as a voice in the back of your mind saying, 'You'll never do it.' It requires dedication and determination to sit down, to spend time alone, thinking about the life you really want to live. Looking forward to that time way in the future when you can look back upon your life and think, Wow, I did all those things.'"


So, yes, goal setting requires some work and discipline but the rewards can be massive - and you define just how massive!

Jim Rohn again:

"Why are goals so powerful? How can they cause all this to happen? I don't know. I guess this question falls into that special category I call 'the mysteries of life.' All I can tell you is that it does work. Find out for yourself. Give yourself the chance to become all you can become and to accomplish all you can accomplish."


A Constant Process

You can do nothing about what is in your past - it has gone - but you can make incredible changes in your future. And you can hardly imagine how great your life can be.

I have heard dreams and goals compared to viewing a horizon. You can only see as far as the horizon and no further, but if you advance in that direction, you will see a little more into the distance. Move a little further still and you will see more: in fact, every time you advance, a little more is revealed. So it is with goals. The more you achieve, the more your abilities grow and the more you can see yourself achieving - and you believe more in your even greater destiny.

Zig Ziglar, puts it this way: "Yes, you just go as far as you can see, and when you get there you can always see farther."

In the book (and movie) 'The Secret', Jack Canfield describes it in this way. Imagine you undertake a car journey at night. You can only really see as far as your headlights allow but as you move forward you see more and more revealed in the lights (as what has passed disappears). In other words you are constantly heading towards what you can see illuminated and yet you can cross entire continents in this way - a few feet (or metres) at a time. By such small steps you reach your ultimate destination. So it is with goals; you move to one goal, achieve it and move towards the next goal.

The key is obviously to have the next goal available at every stage so your journey into success is a continuous, unbroken progression.

This is particularly true of sportsmen and women. Legendary yachtsman Sir Chay Blyth, in the book 'Mind Games' says:

"With any project I take a blank sheet of paper and I write down the aim of the exercise - the goal - and take it from there. It's very fulfilling when you've written down an aim, planned everything and then you bring it to a successful conclusion. It's tremendous. I use the same process for business that I used for my sailing adventures. I set down the goals, I set down all the relevant factors involved and carry on from there."

In case you doubt you have the abilities to keep going, be reassured that life has a remarkable habit of providing you with the knowledge you require at every stage. You just need to have faith and accept opportunities when they arise.

Conclusion

And so I will end this introduction to setting goals. Next time I will start to examine how to identify your goals and the dates of achievement. This should be interesting, as I badly need to understand this myself.


So, until next time, please accept my very best wishes, and I leave you with another quote from Zig Ziglar:

"Successful people get to the top because they identify their objectives, use their talents and constantly sharpen them by dedication and hard work. Their 'breaks' come with commitment and objectives - and so will yours."



Keith


http://www.keithbraithwaite.com/

Values: The Values Of One

In examining our dreams and creating our future lives (being the architect of our lives, if you like), I feel it is important to take a moment to understand and appreciate what features of our characters are important.

We have already established that money is needed to survive in the modern world, and, I suppose it depends on your definition of true success, but in my opinion, we need to include the following values in our lives to gain the most benefit.


Honesty


In his book, The Magic Of Thinking Big, David Schwartz tells the story of a student who made a total mess of an examination paper. Dr. Schwartz knew the student was capable of being top of his class so was concerned enough to ask the man in to see him. He asked the student what had happened.

The student responded in this way: 'Sir, after I saw that you had spotted me cheating, I just went to pieces. I could not concentrate on anything. Honest, this is the first time I've ever cheated at the university. I desperately wanted to succeed so I...' He then went on to explain how he expected to be dismissed, how it would wreck his life and bring shame to his family.


In fact, Dr Schwartz had no idea the man had cheated and reassured the man he had learned a lesson on the value of honesty.

Men have too frequently destroyed their lives by having an extra marital affair and then become overcome with guilt and fear they might be found out. Many criminals are caught simply because they act in a guilty manner.

"There is within each of us a desire to be right, to think right, and act right. When we go against that desire we put a cancer in our conscience. Avoid doing anything that will cause you to ask yourself: 'Will I get caught? Will they find out? Will I get away with it?'"

Honesty and simply doing what is right is so valuable.

Schwartz again: "Doing what's right keeps your conscience satisfied. And this builds self-confidence. When we do what is known to be wrong, two negative things happen. First, we feel guilty, and this guilt eats away confidence. Secondly, other people sooner or later find out and lose confidence in us. Do what is right and keep your confidence."

A lack of honesty also complicates your life. For example, if you tell a lie for whatever reason you need to remember what you said in future conversations or be found out.

You may achieve a level of success, but if it were based on dishonest acts, any happiness achieved would be diluted by the guilt you feel. Equally other people would lose their trust in you and subsequent relationships are put in doubt.

I have made some really stupid mistakes in my life but have learned to be honest about them. Any hurt would be magnified if I try to avoid responsibility and lie. I do have a strong conscience, which will not let me relax if I have been dishonest.

Obviously it is better not to make the mistakes in the first place!

At the same time, it is good to use common sense. Being brutally honest can be equally hurtful - especially when commenting on someone's appearance!


"What you give, you get in return. If you give honesty, you will receive honesty."

Robin Sieger




Loyalty

Like me, you may have included some improvement in your relationships with loved ones, friends and family in your dreams. One way to do this is to show them a degree of loyalty.

Be loyal enough to take their side in all events and do the best by them at every opportunity.

Remember you will know in your heart when you have done the right thing by someone - and if you do not, well, you will know this too.

Obviously if you have a partner, married or unmarried, then he or she should be the centre of your life, with no competition.

Winston Churchill was certainly loyal to his friends and family and especially his wife, Clementine, to whom he was devoted. One of his supporters and companions, Brendan Bracken said of Churchill "He would go to the stake for a friend."








Reliability/Dependability


One of the main purposes of this exercise is to improve your own self-image and being reliable and dependable certainly helps to do this.

I'm sure you have been in the situation where you have organised an event, perhaps a social gathering, only to have people you have invited not turn up even though they promised they would. How did you feel? Disappointed? Feeling you were not important enough for that person to make a commitment to you?

We will talk more about skills with people later, but being unreliable is a sure-fire way to offend others.

This includes punctuality, by the way, which has been a weakness of mine in the past. Be there at the time you said and it will be an unspoken compliment to the person you are to meet.

Think also how you feel about trades people who do not undertake what they promised. As I write this, I am waiting for a telephone call from one company who was meant to ring me before this and a plumber who was meant to be here to do a job already. The likelihood of my using either again is reducing by the minute!

I think if these values become disciplined and then habitual you can concentrate on moving forward and improving your circumstances.




Strength


Here I do not mean physical strength but moral strength. This is related to dependability.

Personally, one of the greatest aims in my life is to be there if any member of my family or friends need support. Once again, if I know I have done what is right it gives me a bigger buzz than almost anything else: better than drugs and alcohol for sure! If anything I do helps others enjoy a better life then that is okay by me.

I think we all have a responsibility to be as strong as possible in order to help those less able to help themselves. This infers we need to make the best of ourselves and to show compassion.




Compassion


I believe compassion is different to sympathy. Sympathy is someone falling into a hole and you jumping down with them and saying 'Oh no, this is terrible.' Compassion is someone falling into a hole and you looking in and saying 'Oh, I understand the situation', and reaching down to help them out.

In other words, compassion involves appreciating the trials of other people and then helping them over come their challenges - if they want assistance. You can only help people if they want help!

Stephen Mansfield in his book on Winston Churchill, 'Never Give In', writes:

"There is a difference between pity and compassion. Pity is an entirely emotional response of sorrow for another's ill fortune. It is feeling not necessarily accompanied by action. Compassion, on the other hand, moves people to action. It is more than sympathizing, more than sharing another's feelings. Compassion is the potent combination of genuine empathy with fiery determination to create change. Throughout history, pity has been the luxury of every age, but compassion marks only strong and noble societies rooted in something beyond material gain and sensual indulgence.








Humility


Arrogance is an obstacle to achieving our dreams, an unnecessary waste of energy. It is a belief of superiority over others. When people have arrogance they repel other people. They become unattractive. I regret this is all too common in some managers in the corporate world.

Humility is the opposite of arrogance. It explains why Adolf Hitler came so close to winning the Second World War - and it explains why he eventually lost. Initially, he left the day-to-day decisions to his officers in the field during the Blitzkrieg. He was humble enough to trust their abilities. After a while, however, Hitler became more arrogant and paranoid, which caused him to make all decisions himself. Authority became too centralised and unwieldy.

Humble leaders accept the input of others and people thus included are more likely to follow the leader.

In his very readable book, 'You Can Change Your Life Any Time You Want', Robin Sieger states: "Humility allows us to go through life without needing to see ourselves as better than others. Humility is accepting, it is quiet, and it is calm. Humility is a confident respect for others and for oneself."

He explains that humility allows us to enjoy and understand life better as we no longer compare ourselves to others and so no longer have to feel superior or inferior to our fellows. We feel in balance with others: we feel equal.

"Humility enables us to be fully open to others, to really listen to them, to give them all of our attention, because we no longer worry about what they may be thinking about us, nor are we judging them."

The truth is we can only feel humble when compared with the power and beauty of the world about you. I recall sitting on the summit of a mountain in the English Lake District on fine day and realising that the Queen or the President of the United States could be in the valley below and I would not know. That made me realise how humble we are without even considering the immensity of the universe!

I am aware I have previously discussed the possibility that we are created in the image of God, but I still think humility is important, as arrogance is most un-Godlike! The truth is we still find it difficult to understand what God is so still feel humble in our ignorance.

It seems to me that the most impressive people in my life have tended to be quiet and have had a humble strength. I put it that way as being humble can be seen as being servile and weak but I believe it is more a quiet confidence. After all, supremely confident people would have no need to compare themselves to others.




The Paradox of Success


Here we come upon the key paradox.

During my life I have become aware of what I have come to know as 'the Losers Creed'. On a regular basis I seem to hear someone say 'You have to look after number one' or 'Look after yourself ahead of the others.' However, I have come to realise nobody who ever says this has achieved what I would consider success.

Although we have to be selfish in identifying our dreams, I do not believe we can achieve real success without working with or satisfying other people. I know we cannot satisfy everyone but it should be clear to whom you have a particular responsibility. This would certainly include family and friends."No man is an island," wrote John Donne and I believe fulfilment requires successful interaction with others.

Clearly this can create a clash between doing what you want and what others expect. This is why we need to consider what values are important as we set our goals next month. I guess we need to make the best of ourselves in order to serve our dependents and society as a whole.

At all times success requires the ability to deal satisfactorily with others in a way that ensures as many people as possible feel they have gained from the experience. It is a difficult balance but it should become clearer as we progress.



"Do not believe the world when it tells you that you must always attend to 'number one' first, and to others afterwards. To do this is not to think of others at all, but only of one's own comforts."

"To those who practice this the day will come when they will be deserted by all, and when they cry out in their loneliness and anguish there will be no one to hear and help them. To consider one's self before all others is to cramp and warp and hinder every noble and divine impulse."

James Allen (The Path of Prosperity)




Conclusion


I think we have now pinned down our dreams and put them in the perspective of what is valuable to us. Success therefore would seem to be a balance of the material and those things money cannot buy and between the selfish and the unselfish.

Okay. But dreams alone will not move me to action. What we need to do is to set dates to these dreams and devise a plan to achieve them. We need to develop a sense of urgency; something I have always found a challenge.

We need therefore to set some goals. It just so happens this is the subject of the next blog.

Until then, my very best wishes as ever.


Keith


www.KeithBraithwaite.com

Dreams 3: Unlock Your Cage

In this blog we are going to put in some action. We are going to pin down those dreams.



First of all, you may be confused between the terms 'dream' and 'goal'. My understanding is that dreams are simply what you would like out of life. Goals are the same dreams but with a date of achievement applied. Goals are therefore moving us toward actively achieving those dreams.



We will work on goals and planning next month.


For now, let's have some fun dreaming.


There are six rules to building our dreams:





Rule One: These are YOUR dreams, no one else's.

Let them set their own.

Be selfish just for a moment.

If you are in a relationship I secretly think it is a test of your compatibility if your dreams are complimentary! For now, these are only your dreams and they must not take account of the wishes of other people.

At the same time, there are obviously morals and ethics to be observed! I would hope in any case that negative dreams would not come true!

You may dream of wiping a group of politicians off the face of the earth and, whilst this might be very tempting (VERY tempting sometimes!), I really could not encourage it.

I will tackle the subject of values next time.

No, these must be your dreams only. For some years I have tried to get myself excited about the idea of lying on an exotic beach somewhere or going on a luxury cruise liner, principally because I feel those dreams are expected of me. However, I have come to realise these are not my motivations. Sure, I would like to travel but these dreams do not do it for me. Sorry.

If these types of holiday get YOU excited though, write them down.

Rule Two: Dream Freely.

Never think 'oh, that's silly: I could never do that.' How do you know?

Put it down anyway. If it has half a chance of making you happy, it counts.

I heard an expression once, I do not know where it came from, but it sums this up perfectly:

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

Rule Three: Don't worry about how you will achieve your dream.

This will reveal itself to you as you go along.

In the book (and movie)'The Secret' , Rhonda Byrne covers this:

"How it will happen, how the Universe will bring it to you, is not your concern or job. Allow the Universe to do it for you. When you are trying to work out how it will happen, you are emitting a frequency that contains a lack of faith - that you don't believe you have it already. You think you have to do it and you do not believe the Universe will do it for you. The how is not your part in the Creative Process."

The great Jim Rohn writes in his book 'Seven Strategies For Wealth and Happiness':

"Reasons come first, answers second. It seems life has a mysterious quirk of camouflaging the answers in such a way that they become apparent only to those who are inspired enough to look for them - who have reason to look for them."

"When you know what you want and you want it badly enough, you'll find a way to get it. The answers, methods and solutions you need to solve the problems along the way will be revealed to you."

Rule Four: Write them down.

As suggested last time, sit quietly somewhere and dream. Have a pad of paper with you so you can capture these dreams as you think them.

Write them down then move on to the next dreams, confident you are capturing them for you to reflect on later.

This will stop all the dreams getting confused because I hope you will suddenly have a rush of inspiration and the dreams will gush out. Do not lose them (your life depends on them!); capture them before life's petty cares intercede.

Don't write a great long description though or you may stop the flow - just make a note to remind you later. For example, for a holiday to Goa, just write 'Goa' for now.

Rule Five: Touch your dreams.

Why not, over the next few weeks, while you are travelling around, while you are on the Internet, get more information on your dreams. Even touch them, if you can: test-drive that car, visit the house, obtain the holiday brochures and so on. The more details you can get the more you can see yourself realising the dream and we will talk about visualisation later, but if you touch it or find out as much as you can about your dream, the easier it is to see yourself achieving it.

Don't worry about asking: most times a salesman will be delighted to share his time with someone enthusiastic about their dream - his product. And it's fun!

One of my dreams (as you will see shortly) is to own a TVR sports car . I have been in a showroom talking to a TVR salesman who then said 'it's a nice day, why not go for a drive' without any prompting from me. On another occasion, I summoned up the courage to call into the headquarters of Sunseeker powerboats to ask for a brochure. I was amazed when the receptionist said I could have all I wanted. He then explained that another man had been calling in regularly for brochures and details for a few years and, two weeks before my visit, the same man had called in once again and bought a boat for cash.

Rule Six. Dream Big.

This is important and is related to Rule One.

Dream as big as you like. A big dream has more pull: it gives you greater motivation.

David J. Schwartz says in his marvellous book, 'The Magic of Thinking Big':

"So far as success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or academic degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big we think determines the size of our accomplishments."

Okay, you will have smaller dreams too. Put them down but make sure you have big dreams too.

I have heard many times of people who have realised their dreams but found it a let down. They had nothing left to pursue.

Many entrepreneurs set up a highly successful business and then yearn for the days when they struggled because at least then they had a purpose - a dream. The joint founder of Coffee Republic, Sahar Hashemi , sold her share of the company for some GBP30 million and decided to retire. She then got bored and looked for new dreams and challenges, ending up starting her own candy producing company. Dame Ellen MacArthur moves from one yachting challenge to another as well as running her own charity.

I hope you never run out of dreams to pursue.

Jim Rohn again:

"You could fall prey to the same thing that happened to some of our early Apollo astronauts. Some of them, upon returning from the moon, experienced deep emotional problems. The reason? Once you have been to the moon, where else do you go?"

So, dream big.

Let's Pin Down Those Dreams

I was lucky to be at a talk given by the entrepreneur Polly Harteis some years ago when she gave a memorable dream building session.

She set out three categories as a framework to identify your dreams and I reproduce the headings she used in a form below:

"You get to choose what you want, but you must get clear about what you want. This is your work. If you're not clear, then the law of attraction cannot bring you what you want. You will be sending out a mixed frequency and you can only attract mixed results. For the first time in your life perhaps, work out what it is you really want. Now that you can have, be, or do anything, and there are no limits, what do you want?"

Rhonda Byrne (The Secret)



1. Have.


Maybe it is a car, or a house, jewellery, a computer, a business, a boat, a new kitchen, clothes, or maybe your own woodland. Could you find the partner of your dreams? Why not? You decide. Be honest.





2. Do.




Perhaps this is a holiday, charity work, give up your job, walk a long distance footpath, visit new places, organise a charity event, learn to race a car or even learn to drive a car. Whatever you want.





3. Become.



This is critical for me. Could you be the best you you can be? Education could be an idea: have you ever wanted to earn a degree? Perhaps you want to progress better in your career and get promotion: well, become better at what you do.


Do you want to improve your relationships? Become the best father, mother, daughter, son, uncle, aunt, grandparent or friend? Do it.





Me, Me, Me


Okay, I will now lay my life on the line. No, really. Here are the dreams I have jotted down after a meditation and brain storming session (whilst listening to Handel's Messiah, incidentally).



You won't understand all of them - but they do mean something to me and, with respect, remember that is what is important.

Conclusion

I hope you had fun dreaming. But I'll bet you haven't finished yet. If you are like me, you will still be adding to your list of dreams for a day or two yet. Suggestions will pop up unexpectedly. Write them down as quickly as possible.

Hopefully, you are now in the zone: ready to receive ideas for dreams. Your subconscious will be working to find them so be aware when they pop up!

To add to the power of your dreams, look at the list soon and decide which dreams are the real burn for you - those that get you most excited. Give them more attention than you give the others.

You should have found the process fun. Maybe you could turn dream building into a fun exercise or discussion with positive friends. Remember to keep away from the subject when with people who will not understand!

How do you feel? If the above exercise worked correctly, you should feel excited and full of optimism for the future.

The book (and movie) 'The Secret' and James Allen both talk about how we attract what we think about. We will talk about this more later on, but in the meantime, keep thinking about those dreams. Keep them in front of you: imagine yourself achieving them, go out and touch them, put up pictures where you can see them, perhaps create a scrapbook of them and you will improve your chances of achieving them.

That is the 'Law of Attraction'.

Well, that was exciting. In the next blog I will look at considering your values and then we will work on another of my weaknesses: setting goals and creating plans.

Until then, my very best wishes for an invigorating week!

Keith

http://www.keithbraithwaite.com/