Fear 2: What Are You Afraid Of?

In his classic book 'Think And Grow Rich', Napoleon Hill talks of the danger presented by fear and states, "before we can master an enemy, we must know its name, its habits, and its place of abode."

This is the purpose of this week's blog: to indentify and classify the fears in readiness to eliminate them. I will apply them to myself and invite you to use this blog to deeply examine yourself to see if these fears apply to you.

I will start with Napoleon Hill's breakdown of the fears.

He lists six types of fear in order of their popularity (starting with the most common):

Poverty

Criticism

Ill Health

Lost Love

Old Age

Death

1. The Fear of Poverty

This is born of the mistaken belief that wealth is limited and if one person wins, someone else must lose. In truth (as Napoleon Hill puts it), "we live in a world of overabundance of everything the heart could desire, with nothing standing between us and our desires, excepting a lack of a definite purpose."

These are the symptoms of the fear of poverty he sets out:

An indifference: a lack of ambition, laziness, an acceptance of whatever mediocre rewards are offered, a lack of initiative, imagination, enthusiasm, and self-control.

Indecision: letting others make your decisions, not thinking for yourself.

Doubt: excuses are made for the failure to move forward, envy of those who are successful.

Worry: resulting in an over use of alcohol or drugs, neglect of personal apprearance, nervousness, self-consciousness, bad body language, criticising others and bad financial discipline - 'retail therapy'.

Over caution: thinking negatively (looking for the bad in every situation), pessimism, leading to bad physical effects (indigestion, bad breath).

Procrastination: putting off jobs until tomorrow (and tomorrow never comes). Often the time taken to think up excuses could have been used to complete the project.

A refusal to accept responsibility and a willingness to compromise too readily.

Bargaining for small rewards (union pay negotiations?) and compromising to reduce difficulties rather than dealing with them head on.

These people will seek the company of others who accept poverty to reduce the pressure on them to confront their fear.

I can recognise myself in many of these symptoms; I have been terribly prone to procrastination as a result of a fear of facing up to the possibility of mediocrity. I suppose this could also be seen as a fear of failure so as I don't begin, I can't fail (although I forget that doing nothing could be seen as failure too).

Such inaction does lead to excuses as to why I have done nothing and then a poor self-image, as I know in my heart that I have let myself down. In an attempt to bolster my self-esteem, I have then associated with people no more successful than myself (fortunately, I do have some other, true friends who I can now perceive as more successful).

2. The Fear of Criticism

I think this might now be a more important fear in modern times.

Too many people are ready to criticise others and the advent of modern mass media makes it easier for that criticism to be heard.

This makes it less likely for an individual to step out of line for fear of falling victim to such criticism: thay would be more likely to stay within their own comfort zone.

I have heard an analogy made with crab or lobster fishing. I am no expert myself, but understand the crab pots work because any such creature caught in the traps which attempts to escape is dragged back down by other crustacea in the same trap. I'm afraid human beings are much the same. The only difference is our shells are thinner. If one person attempts to be successful, all too often others will be ready to pull him or her down.

One of the intended themes of this blog is to encourage less criticism and more, well, encouragement. 'You can do it' because, frankly, you can.

I suppose under the fear of criticism you could include the fear of public speaking and stage fright.

Once again, I turn to Napoleon Hill for the symptoms of the fear of criticism:

Self-consciousness: nervousness, timidity in conversation and meeting strangers.

A lack of poise: nervous in the presence of others, poor body language, poor memory.

A weak personality: a lack in firmness of decision, charm and ability to express definite opinions.

An inferiority complex: using big words (often not knowing what they mean), boasting of imaginary achievements, imitating others in dress, speech and manners.

Sometimes this compensation leads to the impression that a person considers himself or herself superior to you. No, they are simply overcompensating for a raging inferiority complex.

Extravagance: 'keeping up with the Joneses', spending beyond ones income.

A lack of ambition: laziness, too easily influenced, criticising people behind their backs and flattering them to their face, quitting an undertaking as soon as it is opposed by others, afraid of making decisions, lack of tact in manner and speech, unable to accept blame.

Ah, how common is the fear of criticism.Too often I have also procrastinated as a result of being afraid of possible criticism of what I do. I have frequently given up an undertaking after criticism by someone - even though that person has less knowledge of the matter than I have.

Giving into this fear has eroded my confidence leading to a feeling of inferiority and a reduced ability to deal with others. All too often I have given the opinions of other people more weight than my own.

To me, this has been the most destructive fear, leading to my acceptance of mediocrity rather than breaking out to achieve my potential.

3. The Fear of Ill Health

Napoleon Hill states that 75% of people who visit physicians are suffering from hypochondria (imaginery illness). I suspect the figure may be much higher now.

We will talk about the power of the mind later but it seems clear that preoccupation with an illness can reproduce the symptoms of that condition.

Napoleon Hill again: "Powerful and mighty is the human mind! It builds or it destroys."

Drugs companies have made fortunes playing on this fear and then providing the 'cure'.

"There is overwhelming evidence that disease sometimes begins in the form of a negative thought impulse. Such an impulse may be passed from one mind to another by suggestion, or created by an individual in his own mind."

The symptoms of a fear of ill health:

Autosuggestion: looking for and expecting to find symptoms of illness, enjoying imaginary illnesses, trying all fad medicines, remedies and diets, regularly talking about illnesses.

Hypochondria: talking about and concentrating the mind upon an illness until it appears. This is nothing more than negative thinking.

Indolence: ironically this fear prevents a person having a healthy outdoor life.

Susceptability: the fear breaks down the body's immune system and opens the person to disease.

Self-coddling: using imaginary illness to gain sympathy (and gain attention) as an excuse for laziness or a lack of ambition.

Intemperance: using alcohol or narcotics to deal with the symptoms rather than attacking the cause.

Worry: reading about an illness and worrying about catching it. Advertising of course does not help.

4. The Fear of a Loss of Love

A very painful fear, which concerns jealousy and the fear of a partner being tempted away.

It seems women are more susceptible to this as men are perceived as polygamous and so less trustworthy. I consider this is more likely to be present when the partner is considered to be more attractive (and therefore at greater risk) and if the person with the fear has a low self-esteem.

The symptoms of a fear of a loss of love are:

Jealousy: suspicion of those close to you with no evidence, false accusations, faith in no one. Of course, in its extreme, such a fear could actually drive a partner away.

Faultfinding: finding fault with everyone with whom you have contact with no cause whatsoever.

Gambling: the mistaken belief that love can be bought and financing this through gambling, stealing, cheating, over spending and incurring debts. This in turn leads to insomnia, nervousness, weakness of will, bad temper.

5. The Fear of Old Age and the Fear of Death

I have combined the last two fears as there are obvious similarities between them.

These fears include a fear of reducing abilities (including sexual), a loss of freedom and independence and of poverty.

Both old age and death bring with them the fear that others might move in and seize your material goods and wealth.

Much of the fear comes from a lack of understanding of what happens when we die. This has been used to the advantage of some religious leaders in the past, threatening terrible consequences after death. Indeed this ignorance has been demonstrated by terrorists preaching the reverse situation to young men to encourage them to become suicide bombers and embrace the rewards available after death.

I suspect the idea of eternal damnation and fire and brimstone still features in the subconscious of many people.

I think fear has to arise in most of life's major changes.

Once again, though, the media have their responsibility for these fears. Advertisements are common for funeral plans, saving for your 'old age', life assurance and a huge array of medicines and mechanical aids to help you cope with your 'declining years'. The newspapers, magazines, radio and television all portray older people as decrepit, losing their independence and requiring sympathy.

These fears are, not suprisingly, allied to the fear of ill health.

The symptoms that show a fear of old age:

Premature slowdown: slowing down after the age of 40 (the age of mental maturity), feeling inferior because you are 'old'.

Apology for one's age, for being 'old'.

Killing off initiative: believing oneself unable to show imagination and self-reliance.

Masquerading as a younger person: this only inspires ridicule from other people - a 'mid-life crisis' can be included here.

The symptoms that show the fear of death:

Thinking about dying instead of making the most out of life. This is usually as a result of a lack of purpose or meaningful activity.

Am association with the fear of poverty either in one's own life or in the lives of loved ones after your death.

There is an association with illness or imbalance, which can lead to mental depression. I would add that this would also occur if you felt you had not achieved all you wanted in life or you had fallen short in some way.

Conclusion

This week I have attempted to explain much of the causes of fear but I feel this has not yet been comprehensive enough. I don't think I have yet quite fully explained why people (like myself) are slow to break out of their comfort zone - to make the most of themselves.

I hope I have, nonetheless, given you something to think about.

Next week, I will explore fear a little more and hope to complete our understanding of the causes. Once I have done that, the following week I will look at how to overcome fear.

Have a good week, and I send out my very best wishes to you.

Keith Braithwaite

http://www.keithbraithwaite.com/

Fear 1: Fear Is All Around

Week One - 1st February 2009


It may seem strange to start a self-development blog by discussing fear. However, looking back at my life so far, I believe various forms of fear have prevented me achieving much of what I wanted.

These include (a few that I can think of now); a fear of going to hospital, a fear of speaking in public, a fear of ringing tradespeople, a fear of undertaking a long journey, a fear of speaking to strangers, a fear of telephoning friends, a fear of progressing relationships, a fear of starting a difficult project, a fear of talking to people I perceive as superior to me in some way, a fear of going to work, and, yes, a fear of writing this blog.

Interestingly, I have noticed the more I give into fear, the more fears I develop; indeed, I can imagine feeding fears enough could lead to full blown phobias.

To prevent fear obstructing the purpose of this blog, I want to tackle it straight away.

Whilst researching this subject, I have become more and more amazed how much fear there is in the world.

Have you ever been told (as I have) that fear 'is only in the mind'?

That may be so, but its effects are very real and widespread.

Governments rule by fear, companies market through fear (insurance companies in particular: 'what would happen if.....?') and I am increasingly convinced that many of the negative and destructive deeds committed in this world are created by fear. The media have a lot to answer for in this respect. Now I enjoy nights as much as days and yet so often I have come across adults who are afraid of the dark. Why? Well, look at the passion for horror movies and the hunger of newspapers for lovely stories of dreadful crimes for much of the cause.

An example of such orchestrated, blind fear was presented to me a couple of years ago. In 2000/2001 a national newspaper whipped up a frenzy over the identities of suspected paedophiles. Now, I as much as anybody have no sympathy for these dreadful criminals but see what happened. Residents of the Paulsgrove estate in Portsmouth, Hampshire caused riots and virtual lynch mobs against local suspects. Some time later, however, one of the local residents told me that one of the mobs' targets turned out not to be a paedophile but a paediatrician at the local hospital. I understand this mistake was also made elsewhere.

Fear must also prevent the majority of people from achieving their potential in life. Fear creates procrastination, makes projects seem unachievable and so leads to the abandonment of dreams. It causes a loss of confidence. Fear is also largely responsible for economic recessions.




"Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

Franklin D. Roosevelt in his inaugural address, 4 March 1933



"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive, the risk to be alive and express what we really are."

Don Miguel Ruiz



Next week I will dive in and attempt to identify the types of fears and apply the classification to my life. Later in the month I will move on to overcoming fears.

In the meantime, can you think of any fears that might hold you back from what you want in life?


Until next week, you have my greatest wishes,


Keith Braithwaite



http://www.keithbraithwaite.com/